Maybe...

So, I got home safely. Well, if I didn't I wouldn't be here now, would I? There were no annoyances on my flight, happily!, except for this one idiotic Nigerian man who kept yelling at the flight attendant cuz she asked him to remove his hefty hand luggage from the back of the seat next to the bathroom, where they usually keep the fire extinguisher and defibrillator. I mean, is it that hard to understand that those things are there for emergencies? Well, moving on!


Gosh, African Magic movies kill me. And the sad thing is that my mom will never stop watching 'em which only means that we will NEVER stop watching them too. But that can be handled :)
Also, there's this useless stuff that keeps sending me junk mail. It always says, Why Wait, have an affair with a cheating wife today". Well that can been handled too!


So, I was getting back home from the airport and my mom and brother were filling me in with my dose of  house news. And then they told me that my 19-year old cousin just had a baby. At first, I was cracking up cuz I thought it was a joke but it actually turned out to be true. LOOOOL!!! When I was talking but teen pregnancy about 2 months ago, I didn't even know she was knocked up. No one even knew she was! Her mom just called my dad and told him those very beautiful words. I mean, having a baby is a very beautiful thing, don't get me wrong but I don't think she planned it to happen that way. SMH.


Well, no one even seems to be freaking out about it, except me! Everyone seems very OK and calm but I AM NOT! How can I be? Or maybe they are just too angry to talk about it. My other cousin said to leave the matter alone but I'm not ready to let go. It's too shocking for me.


Anyhow, I feel better now. Maybe people make mistakes. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I should stop freaking out. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it. Maybe things will eventually work out. Maybe it was God's wish. 


On the other hand, Maybe people don't make mistakes, maybe they just have that urge to do the wrong things. Maybe it wasn't a mistake. Maybe I should not stop freaking out. Maybe I should worry about it. Maybe things won't work out eventually. Maybe it wasn't God's wish.


We never know. Shit just happens. And we just have to handle it. I believe in fate a lot, but I also believe that we are the ones who decide the things that happen to us too. It's not just what life dealt us, it's also what we dealt ourselves. But whether it's fate or not, sometimes, we just happen to be shit out of luck!

Battle of the exes 2

STOP! 

Before you go on and read, make sure you have read Part 1. Well, its not like I would know if you have read it first and yell at you or not, but if you're a little rebel like me, I would read this part before I read part 1. No, but seriously, you must scroll down and read part 1 first! 

Once again, Nifty co-wrote this post, about 80%. And by post, I mean from the first letter to the last punctuation. Why am I even particular about the percentage though? Well, plagiarism has kicked many people in their asses in this country, and I'm not about to be a statistic. Thank you!

Ok, back to the story. From here on off, it's Nifty. She's our honored guest blogger for the Battle of the Exes Series. Love you honey!

What's worse than the situation of the "platonic" exes, is the opposite situation. Why can't people break up amicably? You take your heart and I'll take mine, no breaking and hurting involved. I mean seriously, do you really want to say all the things you are thinking? I guess its okay if you are never going to see the person again (maybe apart from the obligatory hi and one syllable conversation you both have when you happen to meet online and even then you can always pretend you don't see the message).

Let's be honest with ourselves how uncomfortable is it to say all the horrible and in some cases amazingly inventive insults (shout out to Motunrayo, Funto and Bimbo) to your ex when you both run in the same circles and are gonna have to see each other often. Not only do you put the innocent bystanders (we the friends again, sigh, "the things we do for love" - courage the cowardly dog--> (totally random : P)) in the awkward position of choosing sides, you are faced with the future problem of 'what happens next?' I find that couples in this category do either or both of these foolish things, ignore the other person when he/she is around, I swear I am tempted to slap someone when exes do the Chinese whisper thing and as usual the girl starts it:
*note that Jack is probably sitting opposite Jill
To poor friend - "tell Jack that I am not speaking to him and he should stop making random comments"
If the guy is as dumb as her
To poor friend - "tell Jill that she can tell me herself"
and so the story goes. 

On the other hand exes might choose the my boyfriend is better than your girlfriend phase which usually ends with both of them deteriorating into the 5 year old argument territory (this too - is not argument). Just talking about this situation makes me tired, my cousin used to say that having an ex makes your friends redundant and recently I have seen that she was not just speaking randomly (as I thought and usually think of her) but impacting wisdom. If I keep having more friends like this, I might join one of those strict convents where the people don't speak (probably won't happen, but I always have the option of carrying a tummy gun when friend visiting  ]:D (devil)).

Once again, Watch out for PART 3

Battle of the exes 1

Don't you just hate when someone tells you "FOH, I don't need this" but then they keep bugging you? Of course you do! 'Cuz then you already made up your mind to shut them out, Right? Psych! Well, while some people are so quick to moved on, some are equally never gonna let go.

So, we have varieties of exes. Those who don't like each other, those who still like each other but pretend it's platonic, those in which one still likes the other but not vice versa. Well, this part will be about those who still like each other. Oh and before I start, Nifty, my hunnybunny, wrote 70% of this post.

There are few things I find more annoying than corny pick up lines ( I mean "here's my number in case you need prayers"! The guy who used that should be stripped of all things male and burnt at a stake!), and one of them is the 'ex' situation as I think I have so cleverly nicknamed it (if you don't think its clever keep it to yourself). I mean really, if you still like your ex then why pretend that you don't? Boy and girl do the irritating "do you still think he/she likes me?" thing with their friends, who are innocent bystanders did not deserve to have their food travel the long trip back up. Guys have it better I think because they cannot openly ask and pester their friends the way girls do, I think its one of those unspoken guy rules, page 141 "thou shalt not behave like a ninny." Unfortunately for us girls, we do not have this guy code rule book and so when the love bug bites us or in this case bites us again with the same person we do the dumb thing and pester our friends.

Well, girls have codes too but the story about Girl codes will definitely be for another day. Ridiculous!

You are probably wondering why I feel so strongly about this topic, well it goes like this, I made a friend who has this friend who has this friend and so naturally we are now all friends (confused? Read it slowly). Anyway, this last friend recently broke up with her boyfriend, you'd think that's the end right? Hell no!! She's asking me for advice (now can someone tell me why some white people seem to think that black people have the answers to the universe? Well that's a story for another day), now it's not the asking  for advice that's annoying but the not taking it.
"Should I pick up the phone?"
"yes"
"No I won't pick up the phone, I have to make him suffer"
    Maybe I would be more sympathetic if I took her silliness in small doses but it gets nauseating when you keep seeing the same cycle over and over again, it's like watching all those old horror movies when you know what's going to happen and you keep telling the guy in the movie not to open the basement door but he does it anyway and his head gets cut off. Needless to say my friends friends friend and the guy are still going round in circles (thank God I'm traveling out of easy cell phone range).

I mean, if you feel you and your ex have unfinished business, why can't both of you just face your fears and talk about it? Why must you pretend that you're "just" friends? And by the way, people sometimes hide behind the friendship clutch and torture the hell out of themselves. 

Ok, so like a Nigerian movie, "THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2!!!" loool but where do those crazy movie producers get off doing that? SMH!

Aaargh!

Sooo this is my first blog entry in ages...I can honestly hear tj singing the halleluyah chorus(not a good thing). Anyway I hope you guys missed me(who am I kiddn...but a girl can dream can't she?).Well once again I am awake at an ungodly time again...and no I don't have recurring insonmia(spelling again...I shud have attended my english classes) actually I am awake because I have a dreaded doctor's appointment tomorrow. It is quite unecessary to state that I hate doctor's but I would still state it: I HATE DOCTORS!!!. No offence but british doctors are just the worst at least MY doctor is. I would give you a dialougue between my doctor and I...and this occurs everytime I see him. Me: hello.
Doctor daft: Hi. How can I help you?
Me:(blank face...wondern if I had walked into a shop...a restaurant...basically any place but a hospital)
Really what was I supposed to say???...yhu can help me by givn me some drugs...examining me...basically doing watever it was yhu spent seven years in school learning!! But I didn't say anything...just stared at the daftie.
Doctor daft: So what seems to be wrong with you???
This, I should mention, was after I told him my symptoms...like headaches nd blah blah
Me:(uncontrollable rolln of eyes) gee...doctor I was hoping yhu could tell me
Nd at this point he giggles!!!...like I was crackn jokes...nitwit!
Conclusion: my doctor is an airhead who learnt nothing in med school...and finds my sacarsm funny...hmph!
Now its not only the doctor...but what is it with the nurses and their inability to find the right vein to draw blood from(c'mon my mom sees these veins all the time...it's always see your veins,you this girl you are so skinny eat!!!)...So I lie there with my extra skinny hand (and extra long by the way...I am sure they can touch my knees when I stand)and they poke at my hand once...then comes the 'Oops sorry luv we are going to try this again'...by the time they finally get it(which is usually on the third time) am sure there'z no blood in my body(but apparently there is...cos the next tym they just poke away!)...and they don't even give me any compensation lollipop(everyone looovesss lollies nt just kiddes)well enuf abt the medicine man and his wivesss.
Now to another thing that I still can't get over...the spitter!!!...so I went on a celebratory outing after doin some of my school work. And this quite cute boy(who before this had been dancing all over the place...picture a cute rabbit high on weed...yes!!...nw yhu gt d picture)comes to dance with me. Before this I had been warned by my friend about this boy's spitting abilities...but did I listen???...no!
So I danced with the Spitter bt while we were dancing I ddnt feel any drop of saliva...I was soo happy...the spitter had been tamed.And then he asked me for my contact details...as I was getting my fone...this guy shouted!!!...and yes...my back got sprayed...actually it got drenched!!!...it was one of those moments when you wish yhu could fly out of yhur own skin. I was soooo pissed! I even have NO idea why or what he was shouting...aaaargh!!!.....wat I have learned is that I should alwaiz listen to my frends...spitterz don't change..once a spitter....
-kore
On a random note: I hate green apples...red apples all the way!!!...ooh and I just checked my hands dont get to my knees but they come pretty close ;)

Battle of the sexes

I have been dreading this topic all along but you know what, I have to blog about it!

Why must girls suffer? Why must boys be players. Blah Blah Blah. No matter how many questions people ask, they will never end because they keep questioning why the girl, more often than they guy, ends up losing. And it is very true. Even if they have control of the relationship, they still lose! Why? This semester, I'm taking a Women Studies class and no matter what I say or no matter how I pass this class - which by the way, is best achieved by sucking up to the teacher and telling her what she wants to hear - there will almost never be equality between the sexes! Take it or leave it. And it all starts from when God made the woman second. Look, I have no problem with this, but it is the main determinant of why men are always put before women. Actually, I hate using the words "man" and "woman", so I will stop! And use "guys" and "girls"

So, let's look at the case of the nice guy and the nice girl. This is the relationship many people wish for themselves but almost never get. It's probably blissful and full of sunshine and puppies and everyone always has a nice day. I'm sure the only problem they may have is when the girl asks the guy, "Babe, does this dress make me look fat?" and then the guy doesn't know the right thing to say. He's in trouble anyway if he says yes, so he might as well say No. And both of you are there, living in your "Utopias". Ooooh isn't life just swell? Well, it is :)

Then, we have the controversial case of the nice girl and the bad guy. Seriously, why must good, accomplished girls settle for less and start boo-hooing about how he's being a jerk and not treating her nice, and how he comes home late, and ignores her 27 missed calls, and how he keeps having boys' nights out and not paying attention to her when she's bitching about her friends; and how he's being shady and she's being faithful, and how he's a commitment-phobe and she's been hoping they'll wed since the day the met; and how he's Godzilla and she's barbie and how he's all jokes and she's yada yada yada...Ok, I'm not trying to sound like Rev Run here but why are you still here if you hate how he treats you?

And of course, we have the bad girl and the nice guy. The guys in this situation are probably the ones who will say, "Fuck these bitches, I'm a player now" after some evil chic plays them. Deep inside, they're very nice but due to previous bitch-slapping(s), they now know not to roll nicely anymore. During the relationship, they probably wondered that the girl was bad news but while they're pondering on that, she goes ahead and does something nice and then it changes their mind and they think again, "What was I thinking? She was made for me!" Well, snap out of it cuz she's not! And then, she shows some bad signs and you start thinking again. And then, the cycle keeps going. In fact, you think too much and you'll drive yourself to cardiac arrest. But nice guys, please keep being nice. Or have we lost you all to blood-sucking meanies?

Finally, we have the couple of shrews; the bad guy and the bad girl. Well, in this relationship, they're both stubborn and no one here seems to be bothered by what the other does; or at least, they don't show that they care. Even if some people think it's the right thing to do, it's not. I'm kinda sure most shrews (and I use the term loosely) are just trying to be safe. They don't want want to get their heart broken, and then, they start playing mind games, exchanging carefully composed witty conversations, paying back when either one does something wrong. Their life motto is "I don't get mad, I get even". Well, while this may work in the short run, you may not necessarily benefit from the relationship in the long run.

Of course no one want to get their heart broken but it still happens anyways, which brings us to the point made earlier about girls suffering. But sometimes though, girls can be their own worst enemies. We say we don't like stuff, yet we end up doing it anyway because we see a little potential in them. It's just like being allergic to peanuts and still end up eating Snickers cuz you like chocolate. Oh yeah, we try to think we'll be able to see the good in something or someone and end up getting involved. More than half of the time, people never change, so why bother?

Do not cry over wet Hair

Yep! Not spilled milk, wet Hair!

OK, ever since freshman year, I've developed a love-hate relationship with my hair; wait, not only my hair, it's Hair in general. Tiwo is inspired this one about a couple of weeks ago, when I dyed my hair, again! So, I was skyping with him in the library (it felt so wrong) and then we were on web-cam. The convo was going normal as usual until he said these non-beautiful words to me, "You look like a Ghetto Nicki Minaj" It's not as if that was the turning point of my Hair life but it actually brought up this hair topic. Look, as much as I love to talk, I'm a good listener as well. You may not know but I always clearly remember remarkable quotes, so never underestimate talkative people. And btw, please define ghetto.

So, I've been amassing a lot of things about hair so I won't give you baloney, I hope this still isn't baloney. As much as I don't like talking about race, I think it's so involved in this situation that it can't be avoided. I mean, what's with black girls and hair? It's not that serious, so don't kill yourself about it. Well, I don't think much of hair anymore. I see it too much, with people flicking it up and down; whether real or fake.

There are some people who will huff and puff if you tell them they're wearing a weave. Loool. But you're wearing a weave! There was this one girl. I asked if she was wearing a weave cuz I wasn't sure (ok, I was sure but I was trying to taunt her) and then, she flipped. I just found it rather funny.

And then, there's this one quote that's so swift to come out of many weave-wearers' mouths: "I bought it, so it's mine!" Of course it's yours! Pssssh, psych! It's yours but yet you still toss it after it has served its purpose. So, it's not yours anymore?

Ok, I'm not saying it is wrong to wear a weave, don't get me wrong, but at least embrace it :) I know I will! But I don't like 'em. They make you hot and sticky. And what is it with getting your hair wet? I've seen a lot of people freak out cuz their hair got wet by the rain. What's there to lose? You just go on home and blow-dry. Problem solved!

But it's also funny when people flick their weaves up and down. I've seen a few Wendy Williams episodes and that's exactly what she does. Flipping the hair left and right. Well, I don't even know why I'm doing this. Please keep rocking your weave! After all, you bought it, so its yours :)

Here comes the bride...NO, scratch that, she got Nothing on You

Oh I hate that I don't sleep at night. I try studying whenever I'm not sleeping, hoping it will put me to bed but nope! I'll still be wide awake. Well, the last movie I saw had to do with a wedding so, I have decided to blog about my wedding day.

For a while now, you'll be surprised how long; I have thought about how my wedding will be. When I was younger I could swear that I would have a big church/white wedding (and by younger, I mean before seeing the Hangover - Oh BTW, its the best movie everrrrr. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you do!) So, after seeing the Hangover, I thought I would elope (even if my parents want me to marry the guy) to Las Vegas and get married by Elvis in a wedding chapel but please, what was I thinking? Well, I still think it's possible...erm, No, it's not.

So, I am not exactly looking forward to my wedding day but here is what I want when (or if) I will be getting married. I'm not asking for much, ok? Just a couple of things. Oh yeah, my final decision is a church wedding.

First, I DO NOT, and I repeat, NOT want them to play "Here comes the bride" while I'm walking down the aisle! Well, we all know that is the damn bride, we don't need to hear the song or tune! Speaking of that, I want them to play "Nothing on You" by B.O.B. Now, I know this song will be pretty old when I'm getting married but I think it beats all other songs that could be played. Now, if you have any better suggestion, I'm all ears!

Secondly, I don't wanna wear white on my wedding day. There, I said it! I don't know how true this is but tradition says white wedding dresses were supposed to symbolize purity. Screw that! Look, I don't need a white dress to be pure. Sorry, but sometimes, I think white symbolizes emptiness, void, blandness. As a matter of fact, I want a Red wedding dress. It tells more. And why must we follow tradition? Is there a rule book that says: "Wear a white dress or else..."? Well, I didn't think so either. Thank you!

Who am I even fooling? How am I sure I'll get married? On a normal day, I loathe Bridezillas (if in doubt of the meaning, Urban Dictionary to the rescue!) but I'm just trying to make things clear so that if my future dude is reading this, he'll know...Psych! Which useless dude? 

Well, I think I feel sleepy now. Oh yeah, one of my friends throughout yesterday, on twitter, kept telling me that I'm a dull babe lol. Maybe it's true sef cuz I'm even dulling myself to sleep. Or not! It's freaking 4:30am. The night/morning is dull enough to make me sleep.

Moving on! Before my future dude proposes, I'll be the first to do it. I'll beat him to it.

So, dear future dude, will we marry already?

Oh yeah, Kore said to tell you that he pities you (and a bunch of other people agree too). But don't worry, I'm not a monster *goo goo eyes*