Bad Air Day

I'm here, (unwillingly) waiting patiently for my monkey ass flight to board. But since I can't do shit, I shall at least rant! I have to tell y'all (that's if y'all doesn't refer to only Kore who is forced to read my posts) that I went through a terrible ordeal on my first day of spring break. (And Boyede, if you're reading this and you say I told you so, I'll break your tongue!) Well, as much as I hate to say this, it felt good not to go to class this morning. So, I decided not to sleep last night cuz I didn't wanna miss the bus to the train station. At 6:15am, I began my dangerous walk through the notorious East Main Street. and I finally got to the transit hub at 7 after dragging my box behind me lazily. I got on the bus and got to the train station. Normal. The train took me to the airport. Normal. On the train, I was dozing and I think I snored a little and I snapped awake and saw the old frail woman beside me looking, so I sharply switched it into a cough (believe me, this happened in a second!) Not normal.

But then at the airport, I got searched like a normal fellow and things went on smoothly and I was happy with my life for a second, till I got my stuff back and found out I had to be searched again. Problem? Apparently, I forgot we were NOT allowed to have water at that point so I had to go back and face search humiliation again and I whispered to myself, "FML". Well, that was over and then, we boarded the flight and things went well, a.k.a. we did not Crash!

And since the idiot flight was connecting, I was supposed to just go through the normal path, not the exit, to my connecting flight. And you know, we're not supposed to come back once we went through the exit, SO, I went back and asked the security guy if I was on the right way. And then he said NO, I shouldn't have gone that way so I have to get searched AGAIN. I swear, as those disgusting words were flying outta his ugly mouth, I wanted to tell him to go screw himself but then, I will be subjected to a Strip Search, so I figured being obnoxious isn't the way. So, I was searched the third time. 

Ok guys, I swear I know these things but due to lack of sleep, I have been out of my mind. So, if I didn't make sense, don't blame it on the Liquor.

Well, now I'm still sitting patiently, waiting to board. 

But the good news is the airplane had TV, so...I'm quick to forget this mishap and I'm sure the next plane has TV too.

All for a house

This day would forever be in my records as the day I did one of the most embarrassing things in my life...trust me I have done many.It seems to me that each new one is worse than the last{do I not learn???}...Well today my fabulous self walked up to the door of  a house on a street that I had never been on and knocked on the door here's what happened
Me:{girl knocks} knock knock
Old man:{opens door} hello dear
Me:{looks behind me}...ermm...hi...ermmm sorry.....
Old man:{smiles briefly...thinking the girl is a retard}you looking for anyone dear?
Me:{mumbles something I cnt remember now}...erm Genevieve.
Old man:sorry no one called Genevieve
Me:erm sorry is yhur house up for rent
Old man:{with an extremely strange look on his face}no.
  I mean how embarrassing can I be...is yhur house up for rent...who on earth says that???...aaargh!{and no I was not trying to hit on an old man...I was seriously innocently asking if he wanted to rent out his house.}
All of this wouldn't have happened but for Genevieve...I'm sure you thought I made up the name.But she actually does exist...Genevieve is my..rather our{me and my friends} estate agent...house agent watever...basically she is doing a very poor job.And I hope her employer sees this.We had an appointment to see a house in her care and she gave us this stupid instruction to just knock on the door and we would be let in{kinda like in the adams family}...but did that happen?.....oh no!...we were left out in the cold nd wind{not a very nice combination btw} we tried calln her but I didnt have her number so after knockn on the house she had directed us to for about an hour...rili i was counting... i thought she had made a mistake with the numbers and written 36 when she meant 26...nd that is how I ended up askin a fifty-sumthing year old man if his house was up for rent{cringe again}....
So in summary I have totally embarrassed my self and my friends and I still have nowhere to stay.
On a random note:I have no idea why people keep begging other people to ask them questions on formspring...rili no one is interested in yhur answers{tomilayo take note} you are just bugging people's news feed...home page blah!
                   -Kore

Remember, I love MONEY and I hate Debtors

Unfortunately, my love for money has declined but I will still never turn down a Fat chance at making money. Yesterday, I made sure, I was gonna be bitter and cranky for a few days (and here's the thing, I am always positive but I have dedicated the next few days to cranky and bitter women all over the world, talk about women sticking together) but sadly, I have to share this little light of my day. Sorry, my fellow bitter-cranks ;)

Ok, so Eloho is def getting the shout-out on this one. She was writing a paper and needed company and then, I decided to stay with her in the spirit (and by Spirit, I mean Skype). And then, she tells me that she's writing a paper on Armenia. I tried to be of help but sadly, there was nothing I could do. Luckily for her she stumbles upon a blog about the marriage traditions of Armenians. It will be worth it, I promise, so read on. From my understanding of this blog, a girl must not have sex before getting married but the guy must have experience. So I thought, (pause) the guys must have their ways with married women, but boy was I wrong. There are designated prostitutes that are meant for the inexperienced boys. So again, I thought (pause) if I migrate to Armenia and become a prostitute, I'll make enough money cuz all the boys "need" experience and market will be good cuz not only will old unsatisfied men need me, but young men will as well; therefore, we'll never run out of customers. When I turn 18, I'll officially be eligible to become an Armenian Immigrant Prostitute, right?

An Awakening

So once again I was thinking because sleep had eluded me.By the way I have slept very well for the past few days until today{thanks for asking...or not asking }Well recently I was doing some reflection thanks to a facebook note I read, and i realised that my life wasn't just right...infact it was pretty messed up {and no I am not going to give you the dirty details...lol...i av always wanted to say that}.So recently I decided to sort out my life..rather I asked God to sort it out for me.And I was thinking to myself that I cannot truly be transformed if I still have certain people around me.In fact this was one of the major reasons why my life became messy in the first place...when the bible says dont be unevenly yoked...God actually knew what he was talking about.At first when you start unevenly yoking yourself{yoking sounds funny...is that even a word?} you stand out like a sore thumb but like the physical sore thumb...you heal and start looking exactly like the rest of the other fingers...i dont know if I explained that properly but it simply means you become like the rest.
Yeah back to my story,I was thinking about how hard it would be to cut off certain people in my life...and then all of a sudden this bible verse pops into my head.Matt 5:30 that says if your hand causes you to sin cut it off...its better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be burned in hell.
Well imagine my surprise...obviously I had known this verse forever but it never really meant anything to me..infact I think I looked at it in the literal way{like I would really cut off my hand if I stole something}.
But I realised that cutting of these people would hurt{maybe not as  much as amputation} but letting them remain in my life would hurt even more.It's kind of like having a masectomy{cutting off one's breast} when a person has breast cancer..I mean it hurts and all but on the brighter side it saves your life.
I dont know if I made alot of sense or any sense at all...but I had to ryt :)
                                                               -Kore

Why dress redundant?

I didn't watch the oscars but I got to see their dresses on red-carpet reruns. Many were cool and obviously, many were NOT!

So, here's a pic of Charlize Theron:

First thing that comes to mind: Cinnamon rolls. Is it just me or does this dress kinda look like role-playing porn costume? Dirtying the minds of our little children. And then another issue here is she's trying to make us notice the boobs she doesn't have. Well, in your defense, the bottom is pretty :)

Miley Miley Miley, 3 words: Act your age!

I always wonder why Miley Cyrus dressed like an old woman.

There is no problem with anyone wearing this but she's just so young and she's already dressing like a 40-year old. The dress is beautiful but it's just not for her, and it focuses too much attention to the chest (just like Charlize's). Looks like a bra top!

Zoe, I love you but this dress is just not cutting it.

While, some people argue that this dress is good, I can't just seem to agree with them. From the top, you got my nod, but as the camera went down, I settled for a shake. It's just horrible; it looks like different shades of purple pom-poms were attached to the dress. This just makes her look like a piñata.

The list goes on and on...

If men could menstruate...women's studies have taken a toll on me

What will happen, if men could menstruate? It would become enviable, boast-worthy and  masculine event. Men will brag about how long and how much and boys will mark the onset of menses as the longed-for proof of manhood, with religious and stag parties. Sanitary supplies will be funded by the government and will be free. Military men will cite menstruation as proof that only men could serve in the Army (you can only give blood to take blood); Political men will say, "Can women be aggressive without the steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"; Priests will say, "How can a woman shed her blood for our sins?"; And male radicals will say women are equal, but different, and that if women want to ebter their ranks, they must be willing to self-inflict a major wound every month!


Street guys will brag, "I'm a three-pad man" and acknowledge praise from a buddy who says they're looking good by saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!" TV shows will treat the subject at length ("Happy Days": Ethan and Jeremy try to convice Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz", though he has missed two periods in a row.) The same goes for the newspapers: SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE PARDONS RAPISTS BECAUSE OF MONTHLY STRESS. And in the movies: Brad Pitt and George Clooney in "Blood Brothers". Men will convince women that sex is pleasurable at "that time of the month". Medical schools will limit women's admissions cuz they'll faint at the sight of blood. Menopause will be celebrated as accumulated years of wisdom to need no more.


People will tell you that, "Your husband's blood is as sacred as that of Jesus...and so sexy too"
If men could menstruate, power justifications will probably go on forever.


- Adapted from Gloria Steinem in "Gendered Worlds"

The Church. The Courtroom. What's the difference?

Yay, I finally had my four tiring sleep-depriving exams. I can now live :) 

So, as the Bible says, "Judge not, that ye not be judged" These words were made so clear to me in church. However, I find it very contradicting and irrational that the same people who preach and supposedly "practice" the word are very quick to judge you when you say something or ask them for advise and they don't think it's a good idea in their own self-righteous terms. And when I say the church, I mean don't mean everyone in it.  Ok, here are some cases:

#1

- Sister A: I want to be a singer, please pray that I become successful.

- Church's open Reaction: Are you sure this is what you want to pursue cuz we can only pray that you make it in your career?

- Translation: Do you really want to work with sinners who are so materialistic and don't know that their body is the temple of the  Holy Spirit?

#2

So, there's one woman who sells/used to sell cigarettes OUTSIDE of the church (in Naija) and then the pastor tells us to pray that she moves away. A) There is nothing wrong with selling cigarettes, as long as she's not selling it in the church. Secondly, she makes a living out of her cigarette business and who are you to deprive her of her daily bread? Three, what she's selling is not even your business, so far your kids are not buying them. 

Live and let live!

This is a random thought though; aren't you guys always nervous during deliverance sessions when pastors "know" your exact problems without you telling them? And isn't it kind of boastful when they say that they heal the sick?

   

Safe sex, always a yes-yes

Well, well, well today has been a very long and bad day but that won't get in my way of talking about this situation I find rather amusing. A very tiny word with very gynormous complications - SEX!!! And yes I said it, SEX. Everyone is talking about it, many are doing it, those who are not doing it are thinking about it, and believe me, abstinence is more torture than having sex itself. 

So, there's this one girl in my chem class that told me that her friend got pregnant. Ok, I have nothing against pregnancy but when it's unplanned/unwanted pregnancy, its a no-no for me. And then I asked why she didn't use a condom and then the pregnant girl's excuse was that her boyfriend didn't want one cuz they're "sloppy". Are you freaking kidding me? Sloppy? Well, that's noted. Again, i asked, since condoms were outta the picture, whatever happened to birth-control pills? And here came a very whiny, "Uh, birth-control pills make you get fat" Ok, even if these pills make you get fat, you'll still get fat anyways cuz YOU'RE PREGNANT! And preg-fat is hard to work-out...many moms are living proofs of that. I mean, that has to be the silliest excuse for not using birth-control if you don't want a baby.

Also, I get to see a few episodes of teen mom and I tell you, I dont envy these girls at all. Their daily routine is to cry, call their dysfunctional baby daddies and whine all day long. I mean, I'm a teenager, I don't need this, the only dysfunctional thing I should be attending to is my siblings, not some inconsiderate jerk who knocked me up. (Nifty gave me this idea) We all know the whole abstinence cliché: No sex is safe sex. Don't you find it ironical that the people spreading these messages are condom companies? LMAO!!! 

So, people, before you engage in your next sexual act, THINK: What do I want?

a) Sloppy sex

b) Weight gain

c) Get knocked up

Well, we all know C is not a good option, especially when you're in college and can't afford to keep a baby; and more especially when you know your parents will kick you out and not pay for college. At least, I know that if my child is having a kid, I'm def not gonna bake her a cake. So ridiculous!

Be smart!

And yeah, Boyede, thanks for ur support even if u haven't followed us. 
P.S: I love ur blog :)

"Like": the new "umm"

Today I saw one of those infomercials they show at midnight (like who watches those?) Well, there was this one girl that was praising an acne cream and I cud count how many times she used "like" in one sentence on my hands and legs. Why do people constantly use like in every sentence. In my English 110 class last spring there was this one girl that kept using like. I mean it's not totally sad when you throw in a "like" every now and then, but it becomes very unattractive when you say, "Well, I like went to this like totally cool party and like this guy is like hitting on me and in my mind I'm like, dude done messed with like the wrong chic, but then I like noticed that he was like very cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute and then I also like noticed that he was like flirting with me but since I was like very drunk, I like totally let him like hit it! And it was like CALIENTE!" SMH seriously. Now, that was what I heard on the bus (filled with drunk freshmen...or how upperclassmen call 'em, FRESHMEAT, FRESHMEAT, FRESHMEAT- I'm humoring Kore), Damn, I digress a lot! Apart from the fact that she sounded like a total airhead, she just hit it with a random dude, and may probably get a random STD. Cheers to the dumb freshmen who have lost their monkey-ass minds.


P.S: Kore also uses "like" everytime. And now, in my own terms, Kore = The freshman with a monkey-ass mind.

Editing...and no not the type you do when you write.

Ok, I think its certified that I have some sort of sleeping disorder.That means more rantings for you while for me, sadly,it means terrible 'eye bags' added to my barely tolerable face...before you groan and stop reading....I am not going to go on and on about my face.No! I'm going to talk about something I find more fascinating{mind you I find my face fascinating}....so back to my story...here I am lying awake unable to sleep...so I decide to go on facebook. As I am on facebook peacefully minding other people's businesses{business?? I wasn't in school when this was taught} I notice something very disturbing...almost every profile picture I look at is photoshopped {edited...watever}....sadly including mine.
I'm not hating on the whole editing thing but like with every thing there is a point when it just becomes too much! Like seriously,after seeing this totally great barbie doll on facebook then you finally see the real person...it is somehow a let down...then there's the issue of the cliche poses I'm sure one or two come to mind....like the whole pouting fing{once again I am guilty of that}...however I discovered quite luckily that pouting is just not meant for everyone{sucks right}.
It just makes you wonder what happened to the days when taking pictures was all about the smiles,laughter,cherishing memorable moments and what-not.{gosh...I sound like a grandmother}
The sad thing about this is that I have noticed that some boys have even started editing...like wow.
I always looked at photoshopping{editing} as a girl thing...kind of like putting make-up on{but wait,some boys actually do that}.....what do I hope to get from talking about this...honestly...nothing.I really love looking at edited pictures they are soo much prettier than the real thing.And I don't think I would stop editing my pictures when I think its necessary{c'mon alot of my facebook friends would probably not recognise me}...so I guess it's just a case of saying what's on my mind.
                                     -Kore
on an extremely random note: don't you just hate it when your coke is not fizzy anymore?....

So I am soo fabulous at multi-tasking that I am writing this and at the same time making dinner{how awesome...blush i know}.Infact I think i am soo great I should give lessons to my friends who hard as they try{I acknowledge your effort really} cannot carry out a decent conversation once their blackberry is within an inch of their reach...and yes if you think I am talking about you I probably am :) .

You know what, I was going to ryt abt how much I hate the use of certain 'jand' slangs like 'P'{yes,innocent people like myself ...the letter P is a slang now,talk abt weird}and also how everyone seems to  be a boss now adays.but that can wait because I have just discovered something I REALLY want to hate on.Yes people ....it is the famous blackberry!

Firstly, I find it soo annoying that a device... any device at all should have a nickname.Ok its kind of alryt to call your laptop lappie sometimes{dont laugh,'cos i do that sometimes} at least all brands of laptops can be called lappies.But the blackberry is the onli phone I know with a nickname BB...and you can correct me if i am wrong.I mean I don't go about calling my samsung phone,an SS or watever odd nickname I might come up with.

Another reason why I dislike BB's {see even I am calling them that...yuck} is how cool people look when they are using it...asin bb messaging .And how they always look like they have something doing.

Also its annoying that not only do other phones have to compete with the blackberry,but even I find myself competing with it for my friendz attention{like how messed up is that :( }I mean I would be talking to them and all of a sudden I start getting not one word answers...if I was getting that I would even be excited...but instead I start getting incoherent sounds like mhmm...like they don't even bother answering me.And when I say in my whiny voice 'you are not even listening to me' they just give me this weird look....like I am on my BB..duh... how rude can you get?

But all these reasons are not as strong as my final and most important reason for hating BB's.....and that is the fact that I don't have one...there I said it!

And to add to my  lack of a BB predicament, I just returned from the kitchen and it seems like I would be eating burnt pasta as dinner tonight...seems I am not so fabulous after all.{sometimes I hate my life!}

                           -Kore

on a more random note,I recently read Thr3e by Ted Dekker....you guys totally should read that book...or watch the movie!

The Birth of our Blog

 Here goes our sappy blog story:

Yesterday on facebook, Kore's status was "serena nd blair!!!" and then, some dude, which we would like to hide his name, posted a comment that said,"The perfect couple...she'll kill him!!!. And then, I tried to rescue the poor guy ny saying Blair wasnt a guy. And then Kore with her fat mouth blames me and says I just had to be the one...smh. So I went on and asked if this was gossip girl cuz I thought my mind was playing tricks on me again. And happily, she reassures me that it IS gossip girl. And then, she pops us a chat and tells me to stop making the guy feel stupid. I mean, (in a southern accent) I tried my best not to. So, this dude went ahead to comment again, and while he was at it, he said: "@Tomi, pardon me but I thot blair's first name was actually TONY...It did seem pretty funny to me." And then, Kore asks me to check his comment (cuz I didn't see it yet) and then I saw it.  And I laughed but I didn't get the main point yet. And then I asked Kore, "Tony?" And then she said Tony as in TONY BLAIR!!! Are you kidding me? Tony fucking Blair??? OMG, I was so ECSTATIC!!! I wanted to throw a party in the honor of un-understandable people cuz I couldn't even place my hand on 10 things that I thought was wrong with this guy. OMG, he was the funniest. So, I told Kore, "We have to make a blog on very funny quotes" and then, we both came to an agreement that we just talk about funny stuff but we will talk about other  stuff that's interesting to us.

Kore: Weird, but I am like really excited that we got round to making this blog.'Cos I always lie awake for the better part of the night having all sorts of totally random thoughts like how to help charity {like where did that even come from},creating dialogues in my head between my love{who by the way has not revealed himself to me} and myself, basically all sorts of really weird thoughts and now that we have this blog...guess what...I get to bug you guys with my totally random thoughts {evil grin} that's assuming we have any followers. :(